Taxation Without Representation

So the other day I decide to write a letter to my congressman. Oh yeah, didn’t I tell you? I write my congressman all the time. His name is Gordon H. Smith and his stamped signature looks really authentic. Anyway, I wrote this particular letter in regards to the state of health care in this once proud nation, and how the community would be better served as a whole by providing some sort of national health care program. Now I didn’t go into specifics of how I would bring about this plan, but something needs to be done and someone smarter than me or George W needs to figure something out quick. The kind and generous senator then took the time out of his busy schedule to ask his secretary, who asked her assistant, who farmed some work to a letter writing sweat shop in Taiwan, and had a nice form letter, complete with a blue stamped signature sent to my house. (By the way the blue ink didn’t trick me Gordo! I know it was supposed to look like you signed the letter with a blue pen in a different font, but I know it is just color ink from a printer. Good try there pal.) How nice of him. And to think that it only took him 4 months to get this whole process done. This is government efficiency at its best.


The senator opens his letter thanking me for taking the time to write him. Whatever. Just like this is your real signature? Liar. He then restates my question giving me statistics that back up my claim that America needs some sort of health care reform. Thanks a lot. I know what I wrote to you. You don’t have to repeat what I just said. This is like all reality tv. When they go to commercial the next 2 minutes after commercial are the same two minutes you just watched. Why do they do this? Are there that many people going to the bathroom that need to be caught up? Just keep the show rolling. I can follow the storyline. The next two paragraphs of the letter inform me of all the great things that he [Mr. Smith] has been a part of in ‘fixing’ the health care problem. That’s who to blame for all this crap. Gordon Smith. He gives me the dates of acts and legislation that he has drafted and even more elaborate schemes that he is in the process of drafting. I am then assured that health care is a huge concern for him and he is on it. The kind senator ends by wishing me “warm regards” and uses a blue ink to forge his own signature.

I can’t believe that this is how informal our government is. I know that Mr. Smith is probably a really busy man and does not have time to answer all the letters he gets; but come on. At least try a little. Maybe? I think if I had wrapped my letter in a check for $100,000 he would have sent me a personally signed letter. Perhaps if an upscale call girl delivered my note he would have paid it more attention. But alas, I am but a commoner with no representation in this so called democracy. For the third time in twelve years I will vote for Ralph Nader in November in hopes that one day a third party will be allowed to participate in the election process. There are more than two views in this country, why are there only two choices in political policy? Maybe I should write a letter to my congressman about this.